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Il paese delle betulle

Siamo finiti sul Treno della memoria grazie all'associazione Terra del Fuoco, che ha organizzato questo e molti altri viaggi ad Auschwitz per permettere a migliaia di ragazzi di ricordare le vittime della Shoa. La WPA è stata coinvolta per un dj set in un locale di Cracovia, nell'ambito delle iniziative culturali che hanno accompagnato l'evento, ma purtroppo solo io e Fabio abbiamo potuto rispondere all'appello. Questa la premessa. Rinuncio alla successione cronologica degli avvenimenti e divido il resoconto in due parti per non rischiare di mescolare due cose che non centrano niente e che ho vissuto in modo completamente diverso, anche se non saprei spiegare a me stesso come ho potuto starmene al mattino con la mano intorno a una striscia di filo spinato e la notte dietro una consolle a muovere i cursori del mixer.

Dodici anni fa avevo visitato Mauthausen e devo dire che non serbo ricordi particolarmente vividi di quel giorno. Questa invece è una storia completamente diversa e credo di avere in questi ultimi due giorni sviluppato la certezza che sia questo il posto da visitare per cominciare a comprendere qualcosa di quello che è successo in quegli anni. Credo sia stato necessario passarci una giornata intera per permettere a tutti i tasselli di scivolare al loro posto, presentarsi assonnati al mattino davanti ai cancelli di Auschwitz I e guardare attraverso il doppio corridoio di filo spinato e alla fine camminare via attraverso la spianata che fiancheggia il terminale ferroviario di Birkenau dopo che si è fatto buio.
Auschwitz I è la visione più difficile da mettere a fuoco perché non è camminando in mezzo a delle case di mattoni rossi che si riesce a ripopolare nella mente questi luoghi e forse nemmeno entrandoci dentro e non mi bastano nemmeno i racconti e le parole perchè lo sforzo che occorre fare per visualizzare è di una natura non comune e la museificazione di questo primo complesso di sterminio è servita a tramandare la memoria delle strutture, dei muri, della terra e del cemento ma la memoria di quello che siamo venuti a visitare è stata inesorabilmente cancellata insieme alla carne e non bastano ancora le foto dei volti o gli oggetti personali di una parte infinitesimale delle persone che sono morte qui a restituire la giusta proporzione alla cosa che è successa dentro questi due recinti di filo spinato. La storia tende a consegnare per lo più dei cumuli di macerie e anche quando gli edifici sono ancora in piedi il processo di ricostruzione mentale è sempre estremamente faticoso soprattutto nel momento in cui richiede un relazionamento profondo con la morte di qualcuno e ancora di più quando si tratta di restituire una qualche sorta di concretezza a un milione di morti almeno. Sembra essere tutto parte di una fotografia che emerge faticosamente da dietro un vetro scuro e che ti chiede di essere osservata attraverso diversi gradi di nitidezza. I primi squarci arrivano guardando la villa di Rudolf Höß dal punto in punto in cui è stato impiccato dal governo polacco dopo la fine della guerra, di fianco alla prima camera gas dove avrebbe potuto guardarsi morire dalle finestre di casa sua come ha guardato morire un numero incalcolabile di altre persone. Di fronte all’ammasso di latte vuote e di alcuni campioni di pietre di Zyklon B apprendo un dettaglio che per qualche motivo ho ritenuto particolarmente significativo nel momento in cui mi viene spiegato che queste latte venivano vuotate nelle aperture sui soffitti delle stanze stipate di gente e non era il fuoco o un qualche artificio macchinico ma il solo calore sviluppato dai corpi ammassati a fare in modo che le pastiglie rilasciassero il cianuro che quegli stessi corpi avrebbero finito per respirare inconsciamente.
Ma è solo camminando in mezzo a Birkenau che il peso della storia inizia a farsi davvero opprimente, è questo il posto dove risuonano più forte gli echi di una sequenza interminabile di morti, probabilmente perchè si tratta di un posto che non è riuscito a cancellarsi del tutto e la distruzione e le esplosioni degli ultimi giorni prima della liberazione hanno lasciato i cumuli di macerie delle camere a gas in fondo da qualche parte in questo rettangolo di terra di cui si fatica a intravedere il confine e il rischio è quello di fermarsi a guardare le betulle che lo delimitano o le nuvole basse che lo schiacciano o di farsi sorprendere dai contrasti delle bicromie che si alternano tra il giorno e la notte, il marrone e grigio del mattino che improvvisamente diventano blu e arancione con l’arrivo del primo buio, si potrebbe avere la sciaguratezza di pensare che l’orrore e lo spavento scaturiscano dal fatto di trovarsi in un posto lugubre, di fare di tutto questo una questione cromatica o climatica, la stupidità umana è talmente inesorabile da spingerci a lasciarci turbare da quello che vediamo proprio dentro questo grande altare consacrato all’annientamento che per suo natura ha già annientato qualunque cosa l’abbia calpestato e che continua ad annientare qualcosa di chiunque continui a calpestarlo adesso e che ti logora nello sforzo di guardare qualcosa che non c’è e proprio il gesto di guardare quello che è rimasto soltanto perché non hai la forza o il coraggio o il talento di vedere quello che è scomparso è qualcosa che ti costringe a relazionarti in qualche modo con la tua debolezza o con l’inadeguatezza che ti impedisce di spingerti così avanti nell’esplorazione dei luoghi più oscuri della natura umana, con l’inesorabilità del fatto che non puoi fare nient’altro che aggrapparti a quello che resta e seguire con lo sguardo il percorso del binario morto che ne attraversa il fango, la strada verso la morte che sottrae qualunque residua scoria di umanità a questo dispositivo di sterminio che ti spinge via da sé perché è stato pensato e costruito per venirci a morire e tu ci sei venuto in mezzo con la pretesa di continuare a vivere dopo e parli di natura umana quando invece sei finito in un posto governato dalle macchine che si occupavano delle uniche tre cose che potevano succederti qui dentro, il trasporto l’assassinio la polverizzazione, e in mezzo un’attesa infinitamente più spaventosa della morte dentro le pareti di legno che non riescono a proteggerti dal freddo e dal destino che qualcuno ha progettato per te, invidiando la sorte di quella maggioranza di eletti a cui veniva concesso almeno di soffocare pochi minuti dopo la fine del viaggio magari abbracciando e rassicurando il proprio figlio o preoccupandosi del destino di qualcun altro molto più del proprio, per quanto sia difficile provare a pensare a qualcuno o a qualcosa quando le rotaie finiscono dentro un posto come questo dove ogni linea è diritta e ogni forma troppo regolare per lasciar presagire la speranza di un dopo o di un fuori. Sei cresciuto nel mondo in cui nulla si crea e nulla si distrugge e adesso invece sei approdato nell’unico posto in cui la materia si dissolve, senza nessuna idea di come sia stato possibile arrivare qui. Birkenau è un posto che inizia a perseguitarti nel momento stesso in cui gli giri le spalle per provare ad abbandonarlo.

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